Teenage sexuality - early or on time?
Igor Kon, sexologist, sociologist, Doctor of Philosophy, professor, academician of the Russian Academy of Education, author of books “Teenage Sexuality at the Threshold of the 21st Century”, “Psychology of Early Youth”, “Sexology”, etc.
Home: In teen forums, girls who started sexually early often say: “Now I regret that this happened at age 15, and not later.”
Igor Kon: Indeed, the earlier a teenager begins sexual life, the greater the likelihood that he will have regrets about this - there are significant international statistics for all countries in this regard. And in particular this applies to girls.
BEFORE: Why exactly girls?
IR: For boys, the very achievement of this status, even if everything was not so wonderful, is still a very big achievement, it outweighs the negative emotions. For a girl, the emotional background of the relationship is much more important. And, if the partner is not the one, if she feels that she was just used, she, of course, regrets. In addition, there is one more thing: the boy always gets his minimum. A girl, especially at the first time, often does not feel pleasure.
BEFORE: At what age is a girl early to start a sex life?
IR: The world process (and our country is no exception) is that the age of sexual debut in recent decades has declined everywhere. And our children in this sense are no different. In addition, there is another trend. It is known that girls mature two to three years earlier, and they always started their sex life later. So, this difference has decreased, and in many countries with liberal sexual morality, girls not only caught up, but also got ahead of boys.
BEFORE: What is the reason?
IR: This is normal and natural. The mystery was the previous alignment of forces: girls mature earlier, but begin later. Entire theories were built up, for example, that girls have different eroticism. But now it turned out that social factors mattered. Because for a girl this is a more responsible step, she can become pregnant, which means that the consequences are much more serious than for a boy. In addition, they held back moral precepts to preserve virginity before marriage. And when effective contraception appeared, which avoids the consequences, and public attitudes changed in this regard, everything fell into place. So the sexual revolution of the 20th century was essentially a female revolution, because all the changes affected women the most. And that changed the nature of teenage sexuality.
BEFORE: So, is it difficult for mom to understand the girl?
IR: For a teenager, the teenage subculture in which he lives is very important. If what you suggest is contrary to the norms that exist in this subculture, your chances of success are not particularly great. And the influence of the mother on her daughter can be indirect: if she knows her daughter’s friends and friends, represents their values, she can tactfully, without bothering, warn against something, lay a straw somewhere. These things are possible only if friendships are maintained.